THE TWILIGHT MIND
Discovering our Psychic & Intuitive Aspects
It was not meant to be this painful
It was never meant to be this painful. It was never meant to be this frightening either, but it has. Fear was always intended to be an ally, a teacher and a guide, to remind you and teach you and show you your boundaries and activities. If you didn’t have fear, life would be terrifying; you would ultimately become paralysed and totally impotent and unable to function if you had absolutely no fear. Before long you would enter situations in realities that would be devastating – that would kill you.
Pain is critically important and even more important than fear. Physical pain wants you to define the boundary of movement, emotion or mentality, telling you a warning. Pain can be a teacher, a guide with purpose and function. It is important. You need pain.
It was never meant to be this painful or frightening. What made it so is the loss of spirituality, the separation of spirituality. The advance of technology and the overtaking of technology outline spirituality and magic as a waste of time and energy and as a threat. The darkest days were created through the lack of spirituality.
Ultimately technology, with its lack of ethics and its use of fear and pain can cause society to destroyed itself. The structures of Atlantis were not just destroyed because of earthquakes et cetera; it was the reaction and response to such things. We would suggest your modern world is repeating the patterns clearly with technology. The 20th century is the century of the scientist, the technician; the 21st century is to be the century of the magician – absolutely. It will be a time for the magician’s voice to be heard, not for a takeover, but to influencing change.
In the last 500 years with the uprising of religions, the institutionalisation of religion and of science, that true sense of spirituality was a burden. Motivations related to power struggles of this nature, so spirituality was not the key. Spirituality is not the core of religion, it is the core of religious experiences, experiences that realign you with God, goddess All-That-Is. But unfortunately for too many religions spirituality is not important– perpetuation becomes the key. Likewise with science. Much of the true spirituality gets lost.
We talk about the dark matrix of the natural growing period of a child running into the ceilings and the walls of their reality. They first have to break free to create a dark shield, a shield of shame and pain to survive. You see, using what they have available to survive is important. You need this shield. This shield is eventually going to be your prison and is the nature of freedom. If you don’t keep reinventing this freedom that is your prison (that all of you as an infant, as a child need to be free). Because, you see, as a child I have to survive, so look around to what I can use, I don’t have clear communication and actualisation and all that stuff, but I do have shame and I can hide behind a shame to make it all make sense. This allows me the freedom to survive. I have ways of dealing with this and these ways are my freedom.
Some of you have thought, “Oh well, when I have children I’ll make sure that they don’t have to go through that”. Please don’t do that because you will ruin their lives with your good intentions. They need to go through that and they need to develop the dark shield of freedom, to survive and to awaken their creativity, to awaken the urge. But you see, when it is stripped away there are supposed to be elders there. But in your society old people are fools, they don’t count, they just slow things down, they just get in the way. During that stage you are supposed to have dreams, you are supposed to talk to your imaginary friends, your counsellors and guides on other levels, but all that has been taken away. “Don’t have imaginary friends, don’t talk to other people, don’t talk to your grandmother, she is just an old lady.”
Don’t dream. Dreams are silly things. Don’t learn from your dreams and don’t talk about them. Don’t sit down with your grandmothers and grandfathers, with the elders and talk about what you dreamt last night. If you do they just put you on their knee and say that is great sweetie – they don’t talk about it with any seriousness. “ Why are you dreaming that and what do you think, what do you want, you are just a child, what do you know?” Your relationship with your higher self, with the goddess, at best is God through the church that you are supposed to fear, and you better love God because if you don’t he will screw you over. Fear God, be a God-fearing Christian. Why not a God loving Christian? Yes, you love God for fear of what will happen to you if you don’t. Incredible what has happened to the relationship in that sensing, in terms of being a God-fearing Christian, to love God because of I don’t I will be in trouble but I’m waiting for judgement day; because I love God I get to stand there on Judgement Day and watch the rest of the people burn in hell.
Our point being the true sense of a spiritual relationship with God being a personal connection with the fullness of that and what spirituality is all about has been lost. In that loss, in the diminution of soul and spirit, in the race of technology and the institutionalisation, trying to adhere to and maintain their existence is the highest priority in this particular regard. But at a certain point the institutionalisation of those religions and the technology robs people of a true sense of their spirituality and because of that loss of spirituality, the loss of a personal relationship with God, goddess All-That-Is, because the diminution of soul and spirit, the loss of connection and energy, because of the loss of spirituality, the morality of the ethics that is a personal spirituality, pain and fear that were initially intended to be guides and teachers and allies have become so immense and have become so negative and the negativity of them has become so overpowering that’s what it was never meant to be – painful. It was never meant to be this fearful.
You see, in each individual there is that desire to reach God, goddess All-That-Is. There is that thirst and hunger it. Fantasy now plays a role in the search of a relationship with soul and spirit. So many people want and have that hunger and thirst but turn to violence, turn to tragedy of crises, turn to insanity and turn to crises as a way to somehow find that connection with God, goddess, All-That-Is, hoping to find it in the depths of despair.
In the depths of despair, they’re looking for it much as the alcoholic or drug addict. I’m looking for that high. I drank that bottle and got drunk that night and I experienced God, and ever since then I am trying to get back to that. I took (a drug) and had an experience, a peak experience beyond anything that I can describe, but I want it again but sadly the purpose of it was to find God, because there is no other avenue for me. All those avenues have been shut down and these are the only ways to get through the fields of pain, or through the fields of fear.
I cannot describe what I cannot label, but somewhere I know and I must try. And that’s the pain, and that’s the fear. That is too much pain; it has got out of hand. This was never meant to be like this. God, goddess All-That-Is never intended fear and pain because they know that they gave you ego. Because you don’t have instinct sufficient to survive, like animals do, you would be the weakest on the planet without an ego. It was not some mean trick. But it’s how you handle that ego, how in the world you shamed and arrested your ego in its infancy.
And therefore it’s shamed and it is your enemy, this negative ego. There is a mature positive ego, but it never got a chance. In so many peoples’ lives this was a bust and build. Don’t destroy your ego, don’t kill your ego. You need an ego, but it was given to you as a gift, as an ally. But when it was treated by the development of humankind, it became the enemy. Pain and fear were given to you as allies, but what has happened in the loss of spirituality over the many hundreds of years now was never intended. It was never meant to be this painful but it has become so, and it doesn’t have to be. You can change it and heal it, and that what’s behind what we say. Tt was never meant to be this painful and it was never meant to be this fearful.