Remember – you are peering through a window, seeing everything that you have gone through, experienced, done and been, and it is illuminated by the fact that you are ready for a new journey with a new set of rules. We have never done enough work . . . If you feel this way and are coming up with very little, we can only assume that you are unable to go any deeper – hmmm? Time to let go of what you think about yourself and how far you are along the program of life, not with perfection, but with a deeper and richer understanding. So, if we receive emails proclaiming that you have already ‘dealt‘ with this, know that we will sit back, chuckling and waiting for you to surpass your own ceiling . . .

Yes! You will feel overwhelmed at times, and you will perhaps be at the end of your tether. But keep going. Remember the neuronal brain connections we spoke about? They are being re-wired to send a flood of emotional/chemical pulses through your system, and these you may register as discomfort or fear.. Calm yourself and tell yourself that you are only emerging and leaving behind the ‘you’ who is no longer suited.

It is not the Pathway. It is not knowledge. It is not your family, work, or anything on the outside of you. It is you! You are receiving some powerful upgrades in the form of new information/knowledge/wisdom. If things hit home for you, it is because your Sources are aligned with your Higher Self, and they know what you need to experience and learn. Trust! You will ALWAYS be alright and ALWAYS be safe!

Human dignity, Vitality, Vision and Character

TASK: Think about Human dignity, Vitality, Vision and Character. Why?

These are the four crises that are a part of the human condition:

1 Human dignity / freedom / rights / self determination – the loss of these

2 Character– loss of your sense of ideals; and principles and implementing them

3 Vision –  the loss of a bigger picture in life worth having

4 Vitality – becomes a crises when you withdraw from the world and become a spectator, not a participator – Laz.

Let us be real for a moment . . .

Sit and ponder the times when these four were active in your life and jot down your age and the conditions under which this took place. Where were you? Who were you with? And why did you manifest either or all of these?

Crises

he reason we deal with crises in Quest Five is to highlight the moments and times when you triggered your Dark Tree. Remember – the Dark Tree is an accumulation of negativity which has insidiously directed your life. To add to this is an equally frightening nugget of learning . . . even your good times, highlights, and blessed memories are being directed to give you hope and keep you going. Are you truly in control? Were you ever in control? Or has the Dark Tree ‘allowed’ you to think this?

Cheer up! It gets better, but you don’t have the luxury of hiding from the truth you have created up to this point. If you take a good hard look at your ‘stuff’ – can the negative ego ever surprise you again or trip you up? This is unlikely because you have seen it. It is boring, and when you are bored with the negative ego’s games and dialogue, However, you can then turn away and see that which has hitherto been hidden, and you will be left breathless at your perfection, magnificence, and lovableness. Yes, under all of this – Dark Tree – you are truly and absolutely lovable! Say that meaningfully to yourself a dozen times and see how you feel.

Crises come in many forms:

*          Conscious crises occur when everyday human life does not seem to hold the magic you so badly want, causing you to seek and question life answers that no longer satisfy you. This may induce you to seek the bizarre and strange, the unorthodox, and the blasphemous to find answers that pique your mind, and you ALWAYS feel that you have stumbled upon Aladdin’s treasure or the secrets of the Lost Ark.

*          Physical crises always deal with your sense of security and safety. Were you ever without a home or on the streets? Was your life threatened, or were you even in great peril? Have you gone hungry or had to fight for your life? Make a note if you have or have not.

*          Emotional crises take the form of losing your sense of belonging, the feeling that you are part of a family or crowd, or that you have support. It is also a sense of the loss of self–esteem, not being worthy of support, or not having importance. Make a note if you have or have not experienced this.

*          Mental crises involve the loss of creativity and/or productivity. It is a sense of not knowing enough, not knowing what you should know, feeling at odds with your movement forward, or being unsure of how to proceed. It involves taking action and making the right choices. Make a note if you have or have not experienced this.

*          Unconscious Spiritual crises correspond to the unconscious needs within you. You need these because they demand real, personal change; it produces evolution and growth. In these types of crises, you are supposed to learn to identify, contain and then harness and overcome the adverse power contained within the spiritual crisis. Spiritual crises are on the rise, and most people don’t know how to recognise them. For hundreds of years, it has been taboo even to suggest that a spiritual crisis was real. Even though things around the crisis may change, if your soul’s demand for change is not met, then your crisis will not be resolved. Make a note if you have or have not experienced this.

Categories of Crises

SABOTEURS

(psychological & emotional limitations)

It is time to take an honest look at how saboteurs work in your life. Saboteurs are certain faces you have that serve as major negativity magnets.

The first is MARTYRHOOD – You have heard this word a few times. We know that it is directly linked to the pancreas and diabetes as it can have a lot to do with being too sweet yet producing bitterness. Is there anyone that you know who reminds you of this? When you give too much or give at your own expense, you may be taking a journey out of unconscious or unrealized fear. The idea of giving too much is sketched as an image below.

If you overcommit or give too much, you place yourself in jeopardy. You need to keep just enough for yourself so that you remain balanced and on your own two feet. You also have to admit that there is only so much that you can do; the ‘other’ has to come to the party. A large part of martyrhood is domination, the need to control by doing too much, giving too much, and being too needed. They feel unappreciated. The martyr also says, ‘I can’t do it myself, and no one else can either, so I will just silently suffer“.

The second saboteur is NOBILITY. This is where you give specialness to a past challenge. For example, “I had a horrific motorcycle accident, and it was the best thing that happened to me.” The problem with this is that you perpetuate this cycle and keep manifesting great lessons this way. Instead . . . you could say that “I messed up and won’t manifest this way again.“ You ennoble your negative experiences to excuse your behaviour instead of admitting the event was horrible or very negative. You keep the past alive, and it keeps happening. Tell yourself the truth and get over it!

The third is DISHONESTY. When you don’t want to own and admit what you are doing is impacting you. E.g., You borrow someone’s car and return it with a dent. You deny that you did it because you don’t want to own the impact and consequences. It hurts and cuts off the feedback from your world; you isolate yourself.

The fourth is the FEAR OF RECEIVING. Receiving is energy. It is a vital component of love! To receive, you either CAUSE, ALLOW or take it for granted so that it becomes invisible. You can harness, try to contain, control, or possess it, direct it or manipulate it, and generate or dominate it. Receiving has to be an active and conscious choice, but receiving threatens the ego. Why? Because the ego can no longer make the statement that you can do it all by yourself. To combat the positive nature of receiving, you are conditioned that the act of receiving is weak. Receiving then becomes hard and keeps you in various states of pain.

The fifth is the DENIAL OF CREATIVITY. To create is to express the real self. When you deny that you can create and bring forth new abilities and expressions of your divine self, you are shutting yourself off from that beautiful side of you. When your creativity goes away, there is a part of you that steals your imagination. Creativity is not just artistic ability, not just talent. It is also the ability to perceive and envision. Creativity is the constant motion of perception-conception-perception-conception that does not have to rely upon outside input or any outside force but can be totally self-generated.

The sixth is FEAR WITH BLACKMAIL AND THREAT. This is scary because it threatens to blackmail you, withdraw affection, and leave you lonely. It threatens to expose your dark shadow and punish you with your own judgement, to haunt you with your past. Sometimes it may even threaten physical damage. These cause you to resist and deny your divine right to success.

 The seventh is DENIAL OF SOUL. When you deny your soul, you have no choice but to replace it with competition, comparison, earning, proving, vindication, and pain.

Competition/ Comparison/ Pain: Within comparison is judgement, and within that judgement is pain. Within comparison is competition, and within the competition is perfection. Within perfection is failure. If you play in this realm, you are playing in a realm of failure and pain that does damage and diminishes or takes away any achievement you might be close to achieving!

Earning: You have learnt that you need to earn deservability and love, that you cannot just receive it. To quote Lazaris – “Therefore, if you are hooked on earning and rewarding, you shut out receiving because you see it as a threat, not unlike the ego who sees it as a threat. Also, earning and being rewarded are more closely associated with the masculine energy. Receiving is more a feminine energy, and from the male point of view of singular authority, it sees that feminine energy as a threat. It‘s either/or from that energy, rather than a cooperation of the two.”

Proving: This is nostalgically clinging to the past primarily through self-pity, martyrhood, victimhood, or by trying to adhere to the past by arguing for your limitations. It indicates that you are dedicating your life to proving that the past really is powerful.

Vindication: This is the idea that you have to make up for past failures and mistakes. This never works – only forgiveness does.

Pain: Physical pain is often due to the memory of separation from and longing for control in your physical world. Those who are numb to their emotions will create physical pain to feel more alive. Emotional pain reflects separation from love, intimacy, caring, and a need to belong. You want to feel connected to something that matters. Mental pain is separation from and longing to understand what is happening and how everything fits together. It gives you and your life meaning. Spiritual pain is when you feel hollow, empty, and feel unfulfilled. You feel separated from and long for a sense of harmony, beauty and balance in your life, but need these for everything to fit together beautifully.

Are you UNDOING yourself yet?

SCRIPTS

The last segment of Quest five to be addressed is the idea of Scripts. You may wonder what a script has to do with your life. If you are in the theatre, you would have an idea. Scripts are most often rooted in struggle and pain and are what you fall back on each and every time you face a situation externally or internally. It is an internal contract or dialogue which you adhere to and fall back on every time you are in doubt and is the direct cause of repetitive experiences in your life.

Imagine (and you all can) that you are the Director of a stage production. You sit in a chair made of steel and canvas, and you may or may not have glasses on, and a clipboard is in your hand. The production is about love. The show is meant to depict the anguish of love at its zenith, its immediate loss, and its devastating effects. The main idea is to show that the intensity of your love directly corresponds to the intensity of the pain you feel when it is gone. If you did not love so much, would you hurt as much? You begin scene one, and it all goes according to the script that has been done before. Then, as each scene continues, any move away from the script causes you to call to say ‘Cut! You have not followed the script! Do another take!’ So, each take and each scene is dependent on your particular objective being met for the story to have its intended outcome.

Now let’s translate that into your life. Somewhere inside of you is a Director who has the final say and will ALWAYS work according to the script in front of you. It is one of several scripts that you have played throughout your life. So, what does a script look like? Try these and add more if you come up with some. In fact, send your script ideas in, and we will share them. They may help everyone else in discovering any elusive scripts. Remember – scripts are thoughts of anger, hurt, depression, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, and betrayal.

1. a) I will never give all my love because no man/woman can be trusted.
2. b) I won’t be able to save him because I failed last time, so I won’t even try this time
3. c) My mother didn‘t give me enough love, so I will give my children more than enough
4. d) I will hurt them before they hurt me
5. e) I always leave before they can leave me

Below are the reasons why you construct and perfect scripts so that you can feel some control in your life. Instead of bracing yourself for failure and hurt, imagine living freely by accepting and receiving the goodness that you actually deserve. Look at every script in every movie and honestly state whether they are new or just regurgitated scripts with a different actor and settings. Truly look! Every scenario in your life is a pre-ordained script! It is as if you are simply running on a pre-programmed computerized treadmill, and you have to run because if you stop or go against the program, you will fall.

But you are pioneers . . . you are going to do this differently! You are in the process of learning the how, why, what, and when of your Dark Tree so that you can do it differently! You can stop the script when you hear it, consciously choose a new script, and have the courage to write from scratch.

YOUR SCRIPTS AND REASONS 

• 1) When your ego has an investment in struggle, easily attained success does not give your ego any joy. This is a HUGE one! Don’t just read it and move on – stop and ponder this deeply! Did you know that ‘competition’ totally denies the fact that you create your own reality? Think about this. Anna Breytenbach, who works with communicating with sharks, stated that the reason a shark bites a human being is because they sense competitiveness, and in the ocean, food is all about competition. Competition is having to risk something every day to feel alive, but how can there be risk if you are creating your own reality?
• – When you correct your scripts, you have no more excuses, you have no one to blame. The fear of success can cause scripts based upon being afraid of alienation and loneliness. If you are truly successful, there may be scripts that keep you bound to the idea of disloyalty to your parents who struggled. Many of you don’t want to rise above your station.
• – You can have scripts that deny visibility and threaten you as the target of scorn. Tall Poppy Syndrome occurs when a person’s success causes them to be attacked, resented, or criticized. Scripts that prompt you NEVER to go public or be seen reflect this tall poppy syndrome.
• – You could ennoble your script through struggle by doing it your way and struggling to make it like the struggling actor or business person who says,“ See how hard I have had to work to make it? I have sweated blood and tears, and so must you!“ How many of you have come across someone who gave it all they had and made a million? What about someone who simply filled in the right number on a lotto ticket and made a million?
• – Some of you have scripts that say that you won’t actually make a difference. So why try, why begin, why even care?
• 2) When you seek validation as a source of self–esteem, you have given yourself the script that your self–esteem must come from outside of yourself. This would have been perpetuated by the father figure in your life. Self-esteem is built upon four cornerstones: Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, and Trust. (A lack of trust kills spontaneity).
• 3) And then there is Deservability (the biggest and last)! These scripts cause guilt and make you ineffective. When you have the script of being undeserving, it putrefies into resentment and self–punishment, and you are numb to your reality, feelings, and It is such a destructive script that it fosters self–pity, addictions, and imprisons and disables you, causing you to stagnate in the past. It leaves you feeling unfulfilled. The inability to respond separates you from your spirituality and makes future success difficult. Lacking deservability stops the momentum of the future; it stops your dreaming, expecting, imagining and desiring. It can cause physical illness and causes you to lose the elegance and the aliveness of life. Love and trust are diminished, expectancy and enthusiasm die, and then you replace deservabilty with self-centeredness.
• – At age 4-7 years you deserve. At 7-10 years you seek to earn acceptance from your father figure. At 10-13, this turns to self–importance (Feelings of better than or less than as continuous scripts). Look back . . . look at this time of your life and see!
• – When deservability has gone, your hopes disappear, and you will turn to one of the four major scripts:
  • -mother projections: ‘Just like my mother!’
  • -father projections: ‘Dad always did that, and so do you!’
  • -self-centeredness: ‘It is all about me and what I can get.’
  • -self-importance: ‘I am better than them and can do it better than they’ and/or ‘I am less than them and will never be good enough.’
• – Whose script am I playing? Child’s, adolescent’s, mother‘s, father‘s?
• – When in doubt, there is a whole library of canned scripts.
• – You would then conclude that all hope is lost . . . mainly because you feel that you don’t deserve it. You are haunted by anger and hurt.A lack of self-esteem converts these into a belief in undeservability, and creates existence guilt to get you to behave and cooperate. (Deeply ponder this one – it is a blockbuster!)

QUOTE: from Jaylee Balch

‘Love yourself enough to be willing’ – J.Balch